Embarrassingly Healthy School Lunches
When I was a wee child in elementary school, an older bully decided to make fun of the hard-boiled egg my mom had packed for my lunch. It was embarrassing. And I think I told my mom to never pack me a hard-boiled egg again, for the simple reason that I didn’t want to be different from my friends.
Now, some twenty-odd years later, I can proudly say that my own son has passed through the same rite of passage. And I was there to help him through it.
This morning I was cleaning out his lunch box and noticed that—oddly enough—he hadn’t eaten any of the White Beans with Tomatoes and Greens in his stainless-steel thermos! I was a little perplexed, because I knew he loved them and that he always has a big appetite for lunch.
When he woke up, the cute little guy came into the kitchen and asked me if I had noticed that he hadn’t eaten his beans.
I told him I had noticed. ”Why didn’t you eat your beans?” I asked
He dejectedly explained, “the other kids said it looks like vomit and they were making fun of me, so I didn’t eat it.”
I kneeled down and began to explain with empathy, yet confidently (to pass on some confidence to him), “you know why they said it looks like vomit? Because they don’t get food like that at home, and so it looks strange to them. They’ve never seen it before. And you know why we feed you beans? Because they make you strong and smart and healthy.”
“So why don’t their parents feed them beans?” he asked.
“Because their parents don’t know that they’re so healthy. Isaac, you know it’s not vomit. And you know it tastes really good. You shouldn’t let them control what you eat by making fun of you. If you do that, you’re making what they think more important than what you think, and that’s not true. What you think about your food is what’s important, not what anyone else thinks.”
That seemed to hit home with him, and his face agreed. ”But what if they make fun of me?” he asked.
Exhibiting confidence so that he could mirror it, I said, “Isaac, if they make fun of you, just say that you like it and it’s really good, and then go ahead and eat it. Just don’t care about what they think. Try not to let it bother you. If they keep making fun of you, tell them it’s not cool to make fun of other peoples’ food, so they will know it’s not okay.”
He seemed to soak in my explanation, but I could tell it would take some courage on his part.
Pointing at the thermos I packed this time, he said, “I don’t want the thermos.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“What’s in it?” he queried.
“Rice with butter,” I replied.
He seemed to be okay with that. I hope he applies what I taught him. But if not, we’ll just have to keep working on it. This is a good lesson for him in learning to stand up for himself and his own opinions and beliefs. I’m glad I was there to coach him through this experience, because leaving a kid to pilot such difficulties alone can be dangerous to their self-esteem and life skills. If he can be different in what he eats and still feel comfortable, then he can be different in other areas of his life and maintain confidence and respect for his own opinion. I’m glad he is learning this lesson now, at such a young age.
Later on, Anika came into the kitchen. ”Did you see that I ate all of my beans?! They were so yummy with the rice!”
With all the excitement I could give, I said, “yes! I saw you ate all your beans! I am so proud of you!”
She grinned ear to ear and giggled at that. She has a little time yet before peer pressure affects her eating habits, but we’ll be prepared and lovingly guide her when the time comes.